Learning to Receive Instead of Control
Much of modern life is built around control. We plan, manage, optimize, and protect. We measure success by how seldom life surprises us and how rarely we must depend on anyone.
The Gospel, however, speaks a different language.
Reception Leads to Transformation
Christian faith is not primarily the art of controlling outcomes. It is the art of looking beyond our woundedness and setting aside our cynicism so we can open ourselves to receive a gift — and allow that gift to transform us.
Receiving is difficult because it requires humility. It requires laying down the coping mechanisms we have taken up in life. It requires seeing ourselves as we were before we listened to the lies that others laid upon us. It requires looking past the disappointments that we’ve encountered from those who should have been better examples of love to us. It requires admitting need. It requires surrendering the illusion that we can save ourselves. It requires trust — and trust is costly.
Many of us would rather “do for God” than “receive from God.” Doing feels strong. Receiving feels vulnerable. Doing can be measured. Receiving cannot.
Yet the whole Christian life begins with reception. We do not create grace. We do not earn adoption. We do not produce resurrection. We receive them.
Belonging not Lacking
In a Franciscan spirit, this truth becomes sharper. Poverty of spirit is not mainly about lacking things; it is about belonging to God rather than to our own strategies. It is the choice to live with open hands — hands that can be filled because they are not clenched.
Control often masquerades as responsibility. But there is a difference between faithful effort and anxious grasping. Faithful effort works hard and leaves outcomes to God. Anxious grasping works hard and demands guarantees.
The Lord invites us to step out of that demanding posture.
Receiving begins in prayer. Prayer is not a lever we pull to make God act. Prayer is communion — remaining with God, listening, consenting, trusting. Frequently, the gifts we receive are not ones that we can measure in the moment. That can be frustrating and infuriating — if we focus only on His gifts.
Loving God for His Own Sake
If we look instead to the Giver, we will learn that God is not leaving us empty-handed. Rather, He is forming us to love Him for His own sake.
Receiving also begins in the sacraments.
In the Eucharist, we do not seize Christ; we receive Christ. We do not control Him; we consent to be fed by Him. The Eucharist teaches us that divine life is gift — and that true strength is found in dependence on God.
Surrender — the Path to Victory
Even the Cross reveals this pattern. Christ receives the Father’s will. He does not submit Himself in resignation, but in love. His carrying of the Cross is not an act of defeat, but one of obedience that ultimately becomes victory.
We learn to receive in small ways: heeding correction, tolerating limitations, accepting that some prayers remain unanswered for a time, and understanding that suffering may not be removed but can be redeemed.
This is not passivity. It is surrender. It is not victimhood. It is victory.
And surrender is not weakness. It is the doorway to freedom.
Gratitude, not control
A person addicted to control is never at rest. Even good things become burdens because they must be managed and protected. But a person who learns to receive can be grateful. Gratitude is the fruit of receiving. Control cannot produce gratitude; it produces tension.
The Lord desires more for you than a life of tension. He desires communion — a life lived from gift.
If you are weary from controlling everything, begin with one honest prayer: “Lord, I receive what You give. Teach me to trust You.” Then practice receiving in one concrete way today: accept help, accept silence, accept a delay, accept a limitation without complaint.
The Christian life is not built on perfect plans. It is built on a faithful heart.
And faith is ultimately the courage to receive.