If you are asking how to become a monk or a friar in the Catholic Church, start with prayer, contact a community’s vocation director, and ask about visiting and applying. The community’s requirements and formation process will guide the next steps. This guide helps you prepare for that conversation.
Monk or Friar: Which Life Is Calling You?
Many people use the two words for the same thing, but they are different callings. Both are beautiful, and both are ways of giving your whole life to God.
A monk belongs to a monastic community whose life is shaped by its rule of prayer and work. Benedictine traditions place particular emphasis on stability in a community. Monasteries can also have apostolic works, so look at the actual life of each community rather than assuming every monk has the same duties.
A friar lives in a fraternity following the tradition and mission of his community. Franciscan and other mendicant communities have different balances of contemplation and service. For the fuller comparison, read what a friar is and how friars differ from monks.
Ask yourself a simple question. When you imagine giving your life to God, do you see yourself staying in one holy place and letting the world come to you? Or do you see yourself praying with your brothers and then going out to serve? Neither answer is better. Your honest answer is a clue.
Who Can Become a Monk or a Friar?
Each community sets its own requirements, but most look for the same basic things in a man who applies:
- Catholic faith and sacramental life. Ask the community about the preparation it requires, including baptism, confirmation, and the circumstances of a recent conversion.
- Single and without dependents. A man who is married, or who has children who still depend on him, is not free to enter.
- The community’s age requirements. Age ranges and admission policies differ. Ask the vocation director about the requirements for that community and your circumstances; do not assume that one civil-age rule or upper age limit applies everywhere.
- Readiness for the way of life. Discuss health and the demands of community life honestly with the vocation director. Individual circumstances should be assessed carefully rather than judged from a general checklist.
- Responsibility for financial obligations. Discuss student loans, other debts, and any duty to support dependents with the vocation director. Ask what must be resolved before admission.
- A genuine desire for God. Not to escape the world, but to give yourself to Christ and to your brothers.
Seven Steps to Becoming a Monk or a Friar
- Pray every day. A vocation is a call from a Person, not a career choice. Spend time with Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and ask Him plainly what He wants of you. Then listen.
- Live the sacraments. Go to Mass as often as you can, and to Confession regularly. A man preparing for religious life starts living like one now.
- Find a spiritual director. A good priest or experienced religious can help you sort out what is from God and what is from your own imagination.
- Learn about communities. Read about monasteries and friaries. Notice which ones stir something in you. Pay attention to their prayer, their work, and whether they are faithful to the Church.
- Arrange a visit. Contact the community before traveling. Ask about the dates, practical arrangements, and what you can take part in. A visit gives both you and the community a chance to learn more.
- Ask about applying. The vocation director can explain the documents, references, interviews, and evaluations required by that community. Admission involves the community’s discernment as well as your desire to enter.
- Enter formation. Once accepted, you begin a gradual path toward vows, described below.
How Long Does It Take to Become a Monk or a Friar?
Formation normally takes several years, with the timetable determined by the community and the candidate’s readiness. The table outlines common stages in religious institutes; the Knights’ own ordinary durations are explained in the Formation guide linked below. The Church’s norms for formation in religious institutes are set out in Canons 641–661.
| Stage | What happens | Typical length |
|---|---|---|
| Postulancy | You live with the community and try the life from the inside. | Several months to a year |
| Novitiate | You usually receive the habit and are formed in prayer, the Rule and the vows. | At least one year (Church law requires twelve months) |
| Temporary vows | You make vows of poverty, chastity and obedience for a set time and keep growing in the life. | Usually three to six years |
| Final vows | You consecrate yourself to God in the community for life. Perpetual vows may be solemn or simple according to the institute’s law. | For life |
Formation takes several years, but there is no single timetable for every community or candidate. The Knights’ Formation guide gives their statutes-based stages and ordinary durations. Formation for priesthood is a separate matter to discuss with the community and the competent Church authority.
Common Questions
Does it cost anything to become a monk or a friar?
Costs and support arrangements vary by community. Before applying, ask about travel, visits, outstanding debts, and what the community provides during formation. Discuss your obligations openly so that arrangements are clear.
Do I have to become a priest?
No. Many monks and friars are religious brothers who are not ordained. Their vocation is complete in itself. Our community is made up of Franciscan brothers.
Can a married man become a monk?
Not while his marriage is in force. A widower, or a man whose marriage has been declared null by the Church, may be free to enter if he has no dependents. Married men who love monastic life can often become oblates or join a lay association connected to a monastery.
Can I leave if it is not for me?
A candidate can decide not to continue before vows, and a novice in a religious institute can freely leave (Canon 653 §1). Once vows have been made, the rules for departure depend on the commitment and the community’s law. Speak with the superior about the appropriate process; do not assume that every stage has the same conditions.
What if I am not sure I am holy enough?
No one is. Religious life is not a reward for the already holy. It is a school where God makes men holy, one day at a time.
How Can I Explore the Knights’ Franciscan Life?
We are the Knights of the Holy Eucharist, a community of Franciscan brothers in Lincoln, Nebraska. Our life is centered on Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Each day includes Holy Mass, the Liturgy of the Hours and Eucharistic adoration, along with work, study and life together as brothers. We are friars rather than monks, but a man who feels drawn to the prayer of a monastery often finds a home in a community like ours, where adoration is the heart of the day.
Ask the Knights about your vocation or a visit. Explain your circumstances and questions, and make arrangements before traveling. You can begin with a conversation while you are still discerning.
If you have read this far, do not set the question aside. Bring it to Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, and keep asking. The questions below may help.
Most high, glorious God, enlighten the darkness of my heart. Give me right faith, certain hope, and perfect charity, sense and knowledge, Lord, that I may carry out Your holy and true command. Amen.
Prayer of Saint Francis before the Crucifix of San Damiano
Updated October 12, 2026: practical requirements, formation guidance, and links to the Knights’ vocation information reviewed.